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There is an old adage that says, “God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we can hear twice as much as we speak.” As clever and funny as this saying is, most people find it true and personally challenging. What about you?

Fake Listening

Not too long ago, I had someone close their eyes during my sharing time in Yada. I had previously given them the benefit of the doubt when I observed them becoming distracted or inattentive. But this time, after having just actively listened to them for 45 minutes, their behavior hurt and frustrated me. Recently, I learned about psychological studies done on infants where significant caregivers were asked to frown, scowl, or fake disinterest by appearing emotionless. It’s proven to immediately cause distress in infants. Well let me tell you, we adults are not that different if you ask me. It’s upsetting!

Real Listening

In Yada groups we make it our aim to put real listening into practice. Where in this hectic, noise-filled, opinionated world do we ever get the opportunity to think out loud about life and God’s Word with two loving friends listening without correcting or interrupting? Focused listening demonstrates respect, interest, and a willingness to connect and understand. This is different from listening to discern what we think, feel, or react to personally. 

Active Listening Tools

Being a fully engaged listener demands patience, concentration, and focus. Many of us take notes when others are speaking. We document to remember what God is doing, where He is leading, and what He is saying. We even try to pay attention to what the person might be communicating with his or her body language, tone of voice, and gestures. We learn to replace old habits of judgment and giving advice by training ourselves to make observations, ask important questions, or offer words of affirmation instead.

Listen Like Jesus

Jesus was an expert at asking questions. Why? Surely it was not because He didn’t know the answers. On the Road to Emmaus, Jesus asks questions to allow the two men to express their feelings. Could it be because He wanted those He was with to hear their own voices processing their own thoughts so that they could freely reach decisions and conclusions on their own? Freedom to think, feel, and wrestle with God’s Word in the security of our Yada groups makes for true change and mature disciples.

Time to Speak

Okay … so we’ve listened, taken notes, and our friend finishes speaking. Does this mean our time ends with stares and awkward silence? Definitely not! Now it’s our turn to do one or more of the following:

• Affirm where we observe God working
• Encourage where we see personal growth
• Summarize our friend’s story in our own words
• Remind what God has said to them in the past
• Mention a theme revealed, a prayer answered, or a scripture repeated
• Ask powerful questions that point others back to God and His Word spoken personally to them

Listen To What The Spirit Says

We actively pay attention to what the Spirit is saying in the lives and stories of our brothers and sisters in Christ. Then Yada feedback validates that we’re worthy of being listened to and that the listeners trust God to be at work in others to will and act according to his good purpose. Our meetings become a sacred place where the shy find their voices, the talkative use their ears, and where the Holy Spirit is entrusted to counsel and change us.

Listen To What God’s Word Says

“My dear brothers/sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry …” (James 1:19).

Have you ever been brokenhearted and feared telling a friend? As Christians, we are often hesitant to share our deepest struggles in fear of being rebuked or told we are not exercising our faith. Job says “A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty” (Job 6:14).

We always want to “fix.”

Why is it hard to just listen to a friend who is hurting or angry and not feel the need to “fix” them? I dare say it is because we don’t like to face pain and we try to avoid it in ourselves and others.
When a friend of mine’s 8-year old daughter died, she said so many Christians told her they didn’t know what to say…then they opened their mouth and proved it!
Job’s friends exhibited a short time when they were able to be true friends. Job 2:13 revealed how they sat on the ground with Job for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. They must have gotten impatient with the amount of time the suffering went on, so they decided to give their two cents on “why” they thought Job’s was experiencing his trial. We all know their dissertations went on for over 35 long chapters before God spoke and rebuked them. God asked Job to pray for them and make a sacrifice so that God would not bring down his judgment on their stupidity. (Job 42:7-9).

How we can listen better?

Being a true Yada Sister or Brother to a friend in pain takes patience, time, and lots of listening without giving advice. If you find this is hard to do; look into your heart to see why pain is uncomfortable to be around. There may be unresolved issues from your past that have not been addressed. Often the pain of others reminds us of similar wounds we have faced.
After doing Yada for 11 years with my two Yada Sisters; I can say I have learned to listen better and am heard like I have never been heard before. Where can you share for a half hour and be truly listened to? The Yada experience has changed my life as I have become a better friend and listener to those God has placed in my life.
Ask God to show you how to face pain He has allowed in your life and bear the brokenness of others around you. We are the best friends we can be, when we have experienced his love and healing in our lives first…and then we can show compassion in the measure we have been shown compassion. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, so we are near Him when we are with them.

Where have you struggled lately with not listening? Let the YadaFactor experience show you how to improve this skill that can make a huge difference in your life and the life of your Yada Brother or Sister!

Streams In The Desert

(see videos below)

Devil’s Burden

Consequently a Sabbath rest remains for the people of God.—Heb 4:9 NET

The Lord made them secure, in fulfillment of all he had solemnly promised their ancestors. None of their enemies could resist them.—Josh 21:44 NET

For the Lord takes delight in his people; he exalts the oppressed by delivering them.—Ps 149:4 NET

An eminent Christian worker tells of his mother who was a very anxious and troubled Christian. He would talk with her by the hour trying to convince her of the sinfulness of fretting, but to no avail. She was like the old lady who once said she had suffered so much, especially from the troubles that never came.

But one morning the mother came down to breakfast wreathed in smiles. He asked her what had happened, and she told him that in the night she had a dream.

She was walking along a highway with a great crowd of people who seemed so tired and burdened. They were nearly all carrying little black bundles, and she noticed that there were numerous repulsive looking beings which she thought were demons dropping these black bundles for the people to pick up and carry.

Like the rest, she too had her needless load, and was weighed down with the devil’s bundles. Looking up, after a while, she saw a Man with a bright and loving face, passing hither and thither through the crowd, and comforting the people.

At last He came near her, and she saw that it was her Saviour. She looked up and told Him how tired she was, and He smiled sadly and said:

“My dear child, I did not give you these loads; you have no need of them. They are the devil’s burdens and they are wearing out your life. Just drop them; refuse to touch them with one of your fingers and you will find the path easy and you will be as if borne on eagle’s wings.”

He touched her hand, and lo, peace and joy thrilled her frame and, flinging down her burden, she was about to throw herself at His feet in joyful thanksgiving, when suddenly she awoke and found that all her cares were gone. From that day to the close of her life she was the most cheerful and happy member of the household.

And the night shall be filled with music,

And the cares that infest the day,

Shall fold their tents like the Arabs,

And as silently steal away.

—Longfellow

Streams In The Desert – December 1

Public domain content taken from Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles Cowman.

May your Christmas be filled with His presence. Emmanuel, “God with us”.  As you begin the New Year commit to seek Him and Yada (know) Him more.

Merry Christmas and A Happy Blessed New Year!

When pain comes it is hard to understand. Where are you God? Yet we praise Him, and fight to believe what He has promised through the pain. He is enough! This is why Jesus was born. To rescue us, to save us, and to love us home. Nothing is wasted in God’s economy. Please listen to this song all the way to the end, there is a small message from John Piper. We pray God speaks to you and strengthens you today.

Let’s face it; we are all running short on time these days. Our schedules are packed and frankly don’t have time to spend with God, right? We want to, but how is that possible with all life’s demands? We say to ourselves, “It’s ok if I didn’t get there today. I mean, I am saved and I have all eternity to spend with God, right? He loves me just the same and He allows me to live in grace, right?” While all these statements might be true, how does not setting aside time with God affect my day?

Let this story motivate you.

One day Jesus went to visit two women, Mary and Martha. Martha was busy cleaning, as any good hostess would be. And Mary? Well, she was sitting at the feet of Jesus. Wasting time? Doing the lesser work? Nope, not according to Jesus. She had chosen what was better. We don’t know what else Mary got done that day or how God expanded her time. But we know Jesus personally affirmed her.
How much better might your day go if you heard God affirm you? How much more might you get done? Who really cares? If you were affirmed by God today and documented how He spoke to you in your circumstances, you experienced God and have something valuable to share with the world! How long does it really take to read a few verses of Scripture and jot down a note each day? Five minutes, maybe ten? What is the return on that investment of time?

Oh yeah! That is the Yada experience. If you get a glimpse of God’s perspective, how might that change your “to do” list? Apply Mary’s time management system today. It is a decision of faith, one day at a time, believing that every little bit of time we spend with God makes a big difference. Sometimes it will seem unreasonable with your tasks ahead, like there’s not enough time. None of Mary’s “to do” lists were documented, but the time she spent with Jesus was.

Don’t skimp on Jesus today; sit at His feet and get His perspective. He will affirm you too! Or maybe He just did. Print it, paste it, and share it at your next Yada.